And I haven't even gotten to the security nonsense we American citizens, and those who dare to pass through our borders, have to endure.
We arrived in Miami super early for our 8:30 am flight to Guayaquil. Getting through the security line was easy, no long lines at 6 in the morning, international terminal. Went through the full body scanner, it was working, not happy but then again do I want a thrill of a grope session, or someone looking at my boobs and crotch on a screen? Hmmmm.
I decided to live with the anonymous person looking at my bod instead of the hands-on approach.
Our group of 3 were in and out in a matter of minutes. So far so good!
LAN Ecuador gate - they let us board a tad early because my back was hurting. Flight attendants even came by to check on me, and one offered a little something something....how sweet :)
Flight was awesome. Smooth as silk, food was pretty decent! Headsets free of charge, movies, games, music available. All in all, a very non-eventful event.
Customs in Ecuador - they like gringos. And gringas with blondish hair, hehehe. We had ZERO problems, no questions asked. The only people with luggage splayed out were Ecuadorians or those who looked the part.
Returning to the US - this is the fun stuff!!
We had some serious excitement (lots of nail-biting and praying) just driving into the city and making it TO the airport to drop off our car at Budget, getting a taxi to the Malecon and THEN getting a taxi back to the airport.
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| Uh oh, there's a space available..... |
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| Now there isn't! |
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| And more cars have filled in whatever space WAS there... |
Already out past the safe gringo curfew (LOL) we decided we had taken enough of a chance getting into a taxi in downtown Guayaquil after dark and so getting to the airport 4 hours before our flight wasn't that bad after all. Good time to catch up on reading, free wi-fi for the kid and his Facebook, and an opportunity for me to have a drink, or three.
Standing in line at the LAN counter for 1 hour prior to getting our luggage checked was a nice lesson in patience. Oh, we were 3rd in line. I am NOT JOKING. Another tip: people will sneak in front of you if you are not paying attention. How do I know this? A few tried. Only 2 guys succeeded, but that was because they knew the group in front of us. So I don't really count that. The others weren't so lucky. Girlfriend here had her eyes open, looked at them square, and made it perfectly clear it wasn't gonna happen on my watch. Hahahaha....evil laugh.
Security - leave your shoes on. Bracelets too. Take the coins out of your pockets, guys. Ken left some change in his pocket, but the security guy just laughed, waved his wand, and waved Ken right on through. How nice. No groping, no checking out if we had bombs in our panties or boxers, overall a very pleasant experience. Wait a minute! They let me take my full bottle of Coke Zero, a Te (tea) drink, and a bottle of water! Didn't we just go through security??? This must be a dream from decades back....I think I need a drink.
Terminal: a bar filled with smoke (anyone been to Atlanta and seen those people crammed into the smoker's room? yep, same thing but here they are drinking while smoking). I go in and ask the gal at the counter if I could have the 'quesadilla special' that includes a cervesa - and could I get that 'to go?' With the assistance of a very nice gentleman translating, she said sure, and I promptly walked out of the smoke filled bar and into the terminal carrying my two beers. My kid got the special too, but he is too young to drink! Oh, well, someone has to drink it.
There I sat, with my handsome hubs on one side of me, enjoying his empanada, and my handsome 17yr old son on the other, checking out his Facebook page, eating a quesadilla, and me, in the middle. Enjoying beer. IN PUBLIC VIEW. Horrors! I am such a bad example according to US laws. Oh yeah, that's right: I am in Ecuador. If only for a few more hours.
And then as we board the plane: yep, the long and strong arm of the US is ever present and wielding it's power. Our carry-ons are opened and checked. We are patted down, albeit a light "I don't really want to do this but I have to" kind of thing, and we are on board. We are welcomed with headsets, pillows and blankets in every seat, and ...oh, eye masks and ear plugs! I remember those! And the pleasant yet sad journey home has begun. Sweetened with a snack of lasagne, cake, and unlimited wine.
Welcome home to the USA. Long custom's lines, and yes we had the special invitation to go to inspection room 15 and have all our luggage, including carry-ons and purse, screened. Again. I feel so special!
:D
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